Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Broken

We went to kindergarten together twenty five years ago, and then grade school, high school, and went separate ways for college.

I have not seen her in a long time. 

Every single time I get a message from her, I cry tears for so many things like memories, and for all the things I have come to realize... 

'That is how the cookie crumbles', she said to me awhile ago.

Somewhere in this city, she is battling cancer. 

I'm broken.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Friday, February 24, 2012

Inspirations

There is a purpose to everything and everyone in this life.

Last night, I browsed a blog that featured the adventure park in Danao, Bohol http://www.travelfoodfinds.com/2011/02/danao-adventure-park-bohol.html

I recalled my own experience of doing The Plunge in that place... To give you an idea, this is what I mean:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1YJ6vXkUnc&feature=youtu.be

Though I am not an adventure seeking type of a person, scary rides excite me. Conquering my own fears gave me a certain high that I cannot explain.

The past months to me have been (quite) like doing The Plunge every single day. Call me the reluctant entrepreneur, the moody kitchen artist, the temperamental investor, who, through the past months survived on kindness, inspirations, and blessings after I jumped into that huge ravine of uncertainties. All I was sure of was that cooking made me happy.

Sometimes it takes some recklessness to go for our dreams. It was more difficult because I was born of precise science, mathematics, books, and rationality. I had a great job (I still do, thank God!). I did not need more headaches. I did not need more things to plan for and organize, analyze and review.

But you know why I did what I did? It was because deep down inside me, I knew that my wonderful, comfortable life was only a portion of what I really, really wanted to do. I knew I could do more. But I knew it was not going to be easy.

Pursuing our dreams is like experiencing the sickening, whole day love affair with body pain after you do The Plunge (imagine doing it every day, okay...). If it doesn't hurt, you probably just got lucky. It will hurt. I guarantee you. But I also guarantee you that it gets better every single day. The pains of the previous day are usually converted to being the strengths of today and the next days.

Today, I have my little restaurant to add to the craziness of my corporate life (and the lives of my partners, Hans and my best friend Cherry and husband Ray). It turned out to be quite different from the initial plan of it being an American diner. It turned out to be a place that one feels at home with, with that warm, cozy feeling of mom's home cooking. And because we are Filipino, mom's home cooking meant a mixture of many things from different places, all done with her special touch...

There is no place like home - that is always a lingering thought in my head as I hop from one airport to the other doing my day job. I'd always want to be home for dinner or just be home to sleep at home. Home is a special place - it forms the soul of my dreams for everything yummy.

Today I remain to be a reluctant entrepreneur because every drop of barbecue sauce passes through my own hands every Sunday. Yes, that is how it is... I cannot begin to imagine how it would be like if other people started to take over some of the things I do (meaning those that i do not delegate). Surely, these will all fall into place without me sacrificing anything related to my principles in good food. I will figure that out... Well, I hope so!

For now I live for the joy of every single day spent in learning (like a grade school kid in this field) from mistakes, amazement of the approving smiles I see around the restaurant, and new found friendships.

For now I will have to live with the demands of balancing the requirements of my day job on weekdays, restaurant duties on weekends, and being a good mom every single day of my life.

I guess I did not do the plunge for no reason.

I guess I did not love cooking for no reason.

I guess I did not get reassigned for no reason.

It was all meant to be.

I like it.